So the dhols have stopped, the decorative lighting is off the house, the relatives have departed and you have either already scooted on your honeymoon or waiting for the photographer to share the ceremony photos. Of course those photos will either be subjected to a careful scrutiny before 10 of them go up on facebook or will be subjected to a quicker scan before, well, 450 of them go up on facebook!
In either case, welcome to your second innings, Mr. Just Married 😊
For full disclosure, I must share that I am no longer ‘just married’. In fact I am approaching my first anniversary next month. But all of this experience is also a must to jot down how the ‘just married’ men feel. Needless to say, this blog is from the perspective of men who have recently taken the big step.
In the beginning, I did touch the topic of photos, let’s stick to it a little more. Thanks to the infinimillions (inifite millions that is!) photos pre, thru and post wedding, you will be able to look at yourself from all possible angles, notice all your expressions and get to understand your-physical-self much better. Considering you are seldom alone in those photos, they may also evoke the feeling of being a little more self-conscious which could be a tad uncheerful. If you get married to a slim girl (slim on societal scale!) you might feel the need to lose 5 kilos. If you marry a girl who is fair (again, fair on societal scale!) you may, all of a sudden, feel 3 shades darker! But come on, we are men, are we supposed to care if we gain 5 kilos or go 3 shades darker? I leave that to you…
Relatives. They have all of a sudden doubled. As if you already didn’t have enough! You may also realize how the topic of marriage has been added in their vast knowledge-base of the topics they can ‘advise’ you on (based on their unquestionable experience and expertise!)
Friends! Well while some of your female friends may randomly disappear, some new random females may appear in lieu. They call you jiju! It could be a little odd at first, considering how someone meeting you for the first time is already a ‘relative’ (‘saali’ to be precise) but you will eventually get used to it. Oh and at this point your ex is also stalking your and your wife’s social profiles. Also, your ex’s current significant-other might be doing the same thing. For reasons too complex and out of the purview of this blog let’s leave that there.
Now let’s talk about how “you’ve changed” after marriage. So from your friends to your colleagues to your neighbors to the random people you see at the traffic signal, everyone will have one common thing to tell you – “shaadi ke baad to tu pura badal gaya hai…” You might have not changed a single bit but the teasing will go on for a few months and may be as silly as,
– Shaadi ke baad tu pani bahut zyada pine lag gaya hai
– Shaadi ke baad teri aankhon ka color change ho gaya hai
– Arey shaadi ke baad to tu right handed se left handed ho gaya hai!
– Shaadi ke baad ye… and shaadi ke baad wo… you get the idea!
Take a deep breath and relax! You are still the same, you were always right handed! 😉
Alright so enough of all the ‘outsiders’, let’s talk about what to expect back home. And that brings me to the fact that the grocery store is now your second home. As a man, I understand this could be a bitter pill to swallow. If you have been living on your own you are already familiar with the grocery store. Yes, it’s the same place you casually walk in when you want to buy snacks, deos and stuff like that but only after marriage will you find how these superstores sell products that you were totally unaware of! You might be surprised with what all exists on the planet Earth! Yes, there are things like grofers and bigbasket but none of them work if you both have a job and there is no one at home to accept the delivery.
Of course, I can go on and on and on but I don’t want to make this blog way too long. Yes, you may or may not face situations like these after your marriage but nonetheless, you will understand and value the fact that you now have a best friend for life. Your support system who will be standing with you holding your hands in your good times, not so good times, tough times, all-other-kind-of times, come what may! What fascinates me the most is how someone who has seen you at your worst, knows all your flaws and all your irritating habits chooses to unconditionally love you. That is something only the married would relate to.
Like Lao Tzu said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage…”
And on a lighter note, you definitely need both strength and courage, Mr. Just Married 😀